Need some serious advice!?

Well i recently purchased a midget hooker for the low price of $20. Little did i know, they die if you lock them in the closet and aren't fed for a couple days. I was going to slide her some bologna under the door, but golly, i wanted a darn sandwich at lunch. Have u ever seen a man in a box? its kind of funny looking. his knee up to his chest, sweat dripping from the smooth surface of his forehead. So, with all my issues, do u think i am mentally stable enough to purchase a puppy. I treat it real nice. i feed it midget hooker!